2:07 AM: i love old tech. its so fun to burn cds, its so fun to take pictures with film or early 2000s cameras, its so fun recording using camcorders. also very excited to see mass of the fermenting dregs live!!!

7:01 PM: i feel so tired... maybe its just my period but im trynna concentrate on my work rn and EUGH I CANT THINK!!!

12:39 AM: worried bout my future, probably just tired n anxious. also struggling to find motivation for art fight!!

11:40 AM: absolutely DEMOLISHED my discrete math test, got a 100!! best class so far

2:50 AM: i started the bear yesterday (im on s1 ep 5) oh my gahhh its SO GOODDDD!!!! also carmy... carmy k-kinda...

8:10 pM: ive lost a lot of motivation for school rn, and for my future in general. this always happens around the end of a semester so i just have to wait till it passes and prevent it from worsening :D

also also random the bear rant but omg i want syd to get with carmy but i also want syd to get with marcus but i also want them to have a platonic friendship bc its rare to see tht in media buT CARMY AND SYD R LIKE SO..... BUT MARCUS.... RAHHHHHHHHH

4:59 PM: i think... i need some time off of social media, video games and just online in general (besides this website since theres not really much to be distracted on). just focus on job hunting and school. maybe it'll teach me a bit more responsibility.

10:49 PM: i love my dog so much u have no idea. also i need to fix this website soon

12:56 AM: i started playing valorant again oh my god all my progress is GONE im so bad....

12:47 AM: nothing scares me more than seeing men make renders of ellie also check out this super sick N pixel

12:38 AM: omg yall... something that makes me so goddamn uncomfy is when ppl online publically sexualize the HELL out of a real life person (celebrity, online personality, etc) its so gross and violating...

like dont get me wrong theres nothing bad about finding a celebrity hot or making edits/fanart/etc but when you start posting things like 'omg id do [EXPLICIT] while [EXPLICIT] and [EXPLICIT]' i cant help but think... 'if i were them, would i like that being said about me?'

2:17 AM: im not even exaggerating when i say this yall, doing laundry legitimately makes me want to kms

1:34 AM: cyno genshinimpact gives me the same vibes as n pokemon, maybe thars why i like him sm

1:49 AM: i need duranguense to hit again like it did in the late 2000s bc MY GODDD ITS SO GOOOOODDDD, k-paz de la sierra and horoscopos de durango went CRAZY

5:31 PM: initially i didnt get the aaron taylor johnson hype but after watching bullet train... i get it now...

10:44 PM: there have only been 3 songs that make me feel so depressed within the first few seconds of playing them:

stars will fall by duster: duster omg duster... SO GOOD but this song just makes me want to rot in bed all sad and stuff or whatever

sparks by coldplay: the guitar at the beginning is what does it for me but when it keeps goin... my gawd kill me now please

words by gregory alan isakov: same as sparks but this one is more of an oldie (aka i found it before sparks so its a little more sentimental)

theyre all equally sad to me dont play this near me i will cry and reevaluate my life choices

1:20 AM: I AM OFFICIALLY MOVED OUT YALL!!! im so happy to be able to have a space to my own RAHHHH i feel so overwhelmed with joy idk but i just idk i feel so grateful for my family rn, being away from them makes me appreciate and love em so much more than i already do

11:04 PM: i want chinese food so bad rn

8:56 PM: i am going to get so drunk and read fanfiction... i am so excited

10:44 PM: taz skylar makes me implode when i see him oh my god he looked so fine in opla but when i see more stuff about him omg...

1:10 AM: the hardest part about being bilingual is maintaining fluency in the language you are not constantly surrounded by. my first language was spanish, and i had lived in mexico for 3 years before moving back to the united states. after moving back, the only people i ever spoke spanish to were my parents, extended family, and people at restaurants when i would go out to eat. i am moved out from home, so i no longer speak spanish consistently like i did at back home. i am so worried about how this will affect my spanish speaking abilities... right now, im making attempts to stay connected by engrossing myself in mexican media, literature, and social media. but my god... its so hard. i used to think i spoke fluent good spanish but lately ive been struggling with basic sentence structure, as well as forgetting words.

anyways, sanji/taz skylar edits have been dominating my fyp page on tik tok, very happy with tik toks algoritim!!!

12:36 AM: YALL I HAVE A JOB NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also my god i shake so goddamn much when i draw, it kills me

9:52 PM: been tryin to pick up bass more often, forgot how fun it was :3
also, i forgor... i had something to update but ngl updating the october part literally made me forget...

10:10 PM: i know how to play sparks by coldplay on bass now!!!!!! i think im gettin better ngl, rn im focusing in my frettin technique and plucking but so far ive been having so much fun learning my instrument!!!!! :3

8:07 PM: DO NOT WORK AT A PHARMACY, MORE SPECIFICALLY DO NOT WORK AT A WALGREENS PHARMACY. THE PEOPLE THT COME IN WILL TREAT U LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT, LIKE U R NOT HUMAN!!!!

also ngl i cannot stop thinkin about the jjk episode tht dropped yesterday... nanami was so...

8:08 PM: i just had a moment of existentialism where i was like "im 21 yrs old... im gonna be 70 some day, all old and soggy and wrinkly.... im a human being who lives and like breathes and stuff... woah"

9:07 PM: the bass guitar is such a pretty instrument, i cant wait to get so good at playin it, its sm fun

12:57 AM: non stop been listenin to this

10:08 PM: stsg makin me wanna start pourin shots.... also, wanna revamp website but also get better at html and actually finish coding it...

02:10 AM: listening to remember you makes me sad but my gawd nuts and oh fionna makes me even sadder, its like sad nostalgia...

12:00 AM: i wish i had the energy to do more things with my life.

1:35 AM: i used to get demotivated when seein ppls art bc i would always wonder 'man why cant i just get it together and put the effort and brain to improve' but lately im starting to remember why i even started drawing in the first place, bc it brings me actual joy just doodling things i enjoy :)

5:45 AM: i can feel it mr krabs... fall is coming soon... anywayz, mitski later today!!! yoohoo jipee!!! i tried updating my website but i got distracted with a buncha other stuff. at least i uploaded some new art, but its taking a while to load :( i promise i wont neglect u website, u will be worked on eventually my love my pookie my dear website

also, i watched 'i saw the tv glow' recently and my gawd... so good, im still thinkin about it days after...